Background

Since my early 20s, volunteering in some exotic, far flung and poverty stricken place was always something on my bucket list, something where I sensed I might find my life’s purpose, or something like that!

When the idea first came to me it felt, on reflection, more a form of escapism and so the timing then just wasn’t right. Taking time out to volunteer abroad is a huge undertaking – it takes time, focus, money, family considerations, and finding the right placement to suit one’s skill set. All these and probably more need to come together simultaneously. Quite a tall order.

As a volunteer I needed to feel I’d be contributing something of value to the recipients and that it wasn’t merely a form of escape from some humdrum life or drama of mine. My opportunity didn’t come until many chapters later. It was 2013 at the age of 46 and now with a 10 year old son in tow.

Holidaying

We were on a two week holiday in Sri Lanka. I’d pre-arranged a visit to an NGO in Kandy called Women’s Development Centre (WDC) through a friend of my cousin’s in the UK. She was a charity board trustee for Shining Life Children’s Trust (SLCT) who helped raise funds for ground-root projects in Sri Lanka, WDC being one of them.

It was my brief visit to WDC, squeezed in between a visit to the historical Temple of the Buddha’s Tooth and the magnificent six hour train trip from Kandy to Ella, that I had the privilege of meeting Pearl Stephen, who founded WDC almost 40 years earlier.

Although it was just a short couple of hour visit, I was inspired by Pearl and her vision to such an extent that I had to think hard and quickly about how I could persuade her to let me return. Pearl said as we were leaving, “You must come back and bring Joe too as one day he will do good work here.” It was like a prophecy and that was all I needed.

Volunteering

It was my volunteering experience at WDC just three months later in the July which really changed how I saw the ‘teardrop’ island and marked the difference between holidaying and volunteering in Sri Lanka. 

Rather than experiencing the wonders of the country’s Cultural Triangle on that return trip, we attended a support meeting with a group of sex workers at Kandy Hospital’s clinic. WDC staff were trying to rescue them through introducing them to micro-finance projects so they could become self-sufficient in a way that didn’t mean them selling their bodies.

Joe had collected stationary items from his school in the UK and we dropped these off to nurseries and schools in remote tea plantation villages. I delivered training sessions on report writing and introduced a staff appraisal system which was a new concept for them to implement.

Less than three weeks into our month’s volunteering, Pearl had a sudden heart attack and died. The outpouring of grief from all 80+ WDC workers and all who knew her, many of whom had been ‘saved’ by her, was extraordinary and extreme. I had never experienced anything like it, with everyone dressed in white and sharing their feelings of absolute loss.

The church was quite literally over-flowing, fitting for an extraordinary woman who committed her life to helping free women and children from their suffering due to gender-based violence and poverty. I’ll never forget the radiance of the woman who was so selfless, unassuming, warm, and generous with her time and energy. It was she who inspires me to return each year to continue to help fulfil her mission.

The take away

My holiday to Sri Lanka epitomises for me the power of experiencing the company of an inspiring woman such as Pearl. If one chooses, then they can not only discover the elusive purpose of their own life, but can inspire others to find it in theirs.