Pearl Stephen and me at the Women’s Development Centre a few days before her passing in July 2013
SINCE MY early 20s, volunteering in a distant, exotic and poverty-stricken place had been on my bucket list. I imagined it might help me discover my life’s purpose, or something like that. But when I first considered it seriously, I realised it was probably more about escapism, and the timing wasn’t right.
Volunteering abroad is a significant commitment. It demands time, focus, financial resources, consideration of family needs and, importantly, finding a placement that genuinely matches your skills. Getting all those things to line up at the same time is no small feat. I also wanted my volunteering to be meaningful, rather than simply an escape from the monotony or challenges of my life.
The opportunity didn’t come until much later. It was 2013. I was 46 and had a ten-year-old son.
The first visit
During a two-week holiday in Sri Lanka, I arranged a visit to the Women’s Development Centre in Kandy through a contact in the UK. It was a brief visit, fitted in between sightseeing at the Temple of the Buddha’s Tooth and a spectacular train journey from Kandy to Ella.
There I met Pearl Stephen, the woman who had founded the Women’s Development Centre almost 30 years earlier. Although I was there for only a couple of hours, I was struck by Pearl and her vision. As we were leaving, she said:
‘You must come back, and bring Joe too. One day he will do good work here.’
It was an intriguing thing to say to someone she had only just met. But I took her at her word.
Three months later
In July, I returned to the Women’s Development Centre as a volunteer along with Joe. That experience completely reshaped the way I viewed Sri Lanka.
There is a difference between simply holidaying somewhere and genuinely engaging with a country and its people. I began to see Sri Lanka in an entirely different way. Instead of spending that trip exploring the wonders of the country’s Cultural Triangle, we attended a support meeting at a Kandy hospital clinic for sex workers! The WDC staff were working to help these women move away from their circumstances by introducing them to microfinance projects that could give them a route towards safety and self-sufficiency.
Meanwhile, my son Joe, who had collected school supplies in the UK, distributed them to pre-schools and schools in some remote tea plantation villages.
I also used my professional experience to deliver training on writing evaluative reports for funders and introduced a staff appraisal system, which was a completely new concept for the women working for the organisation. This is what Pearl had asked me to do.
It was a very different kind of holiday.
Then everything changed
Sadly, less than three weeks into our month-long stay, Pearl suffered a sudden heart attack and died.
More than 80 WDC workers, along with countless others who had been supported by her over the years, mourned her passing. The church literally overflowed with people. It was a fitting tribute to a woman who had dedicated her life to helping women and children affected by gender-based violence and poverty.
Pearl’s warmth, generosity and determination made a real impression on me. Her death also changed the course of my relationship with Sri Lanka.
My son and I returned each year after that up until COVID stopped us going, and I have continued to return each year since 2022, finding ways to support the work Pearl had begun and which continues with her daughter-in-law at the helm.
Finding a Purpose
That first trip to Sri Lanka taught me something I hadn’t expected. Often it isn’t a grand plan that gives you a sense of direction or purpose. Sometimes it is simply an encounter with an inspirational woman. Pearl showed me what one person can achieve through years of commitment and hard work. Her example made me think differently about what I could contribute myself.
That short holiday in 2013 turned out to be about rather more than seeing a new country. It was the beginning of a relationship with Sri Lanka that has continued for more than 13 years, and one that has shaped much of what I have done since.
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